Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
