great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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