Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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