ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
