This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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