I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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