i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Rumble strips road head = magical
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
