She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
