I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
