Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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