I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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