sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
