Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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