it wasn't lemon gatorade
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
