i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize