Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
