I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
