I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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