I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
