Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
