Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize