I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
