Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
