you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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