I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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