My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
