pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
