I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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