My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
