I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
