I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
