nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
