Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
