I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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