So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
