I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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