if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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