Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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