I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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