you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
