so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
