if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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