ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
