i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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