69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
