but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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