I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
