good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
