hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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