I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
