Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
