JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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