i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just found a bag of teeth...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
