So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
vagina is talking i cant
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
