Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize