I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
