Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
