I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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