so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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