there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
