i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
