...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My liver just broke up with me...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
