No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
