I want to have your abortion
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
