My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I smell stomach acid.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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