It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
