Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
