Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
