once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
