the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
