So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
