How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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