Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
